19 years ago, I was a young working mother at 28, independent and working for a prestigious company, until circumstances made me choose between family and career. After going through weighing my optio , I chose to become a full-time Homemaker because I believed that family should come first if the situation would permit.
However, I had a wake-up call four years ago. It ha ened on a lazy weekday afternoon when my 10 yr. old daughter arrived from school. As an affectionate habit, Id ki and hug her, join her in her room, and help her settle down. Its great hearing how her day has been.
But i tead of receiving reciprocal warmth, I got a glowering look plus a creased forehead for a bonus. Although Ive been noticing her surly attitude whenever I a roached her after school in the past months, such di lay of rejection sank only during that u u ecting, lazy, afternoon.
After getting used to doing things together or simply being there for her 24hours a day, a sudden realization that I need to re ect certain boundaries did put me off balance. Privacy and independence suddenly become the words of the day. She wanted le of the intrusive side of her mom. Her notebooks, slum books, even notepads gradually became confidential.
Gone are the days when she wrote loving notes on mothers day except when it has been required in cla , and whi ered I love yous for no reason at all. Gone are the days when she wants to be cuddled, to listen to bedtime stories, to sleep through sweet lullabies only I could hum dotingly.
The person in front of me that lazy afternoon was neither an adolescent nor a child. I simply saw a daughter distancing herself from me. And with my son already submerged in his own world, seeing my daughter little by little wanting le of me can really hurt and make me rethink of my role as a Mother and Homemaker, and comparing then and now.
A Change of Direction
I gue with more time in my hand, Ive sli ed into a limbo, doing things Ive been so used to doing but se ing theres no need for them.
With much encouragement from a long time friend and cla mate, I was able to pull myself out of that dramatic lull. We did a little brai torming, a e ing some things I can and ca ot do at past 40 years of age.
And my love and talent for writing was brought up. The work was the most a ropriate and le demanding thing I can indulge in at that moment. The best part was I can work from home, earn a little with le disruptio to the demands of home life, and I learn and grow in the proce .
Through this friends prodding, I started to reco ider the idea and I discovered my fervor to share through writing still bur i ide.
I pursued writing although I was a rehe ive as I started out late in a competitive field.
Imagining myself as a Published Writer elicited fear, uncertainty, and embarra ment. It is a title or label that can be intimidating and with inherent criteria that may require much to live up to. But I went ahead.
I did not rely on mere talent. I worked on acquiring additional knowledge by investing in books, endle search on the internet, and getting educated through corre ondence courses. I practically walked on a self-help journey to reinventing myself.
A wers From Within
After close to five years of writing online and in print, I can say that I made use of that wake-up call wisely without going through much drastic changes.
It is amazing how we could at times come up with a tremendous list of put-dow for ourselves. No wonder some people achieve so le in a lifetime de ite being so talented, i ately intelligent and with bountiful o ortunities right before their eyes.
Sometimes, we need wake-up calls to push us and remind us of latent skills and forgotten pa io which become our tools for reinventing our lives.
We all have a significant part of us that get muddled with the chaos of everyday tasks. It is a part of us that lies dormant in the midst of routine re o ibilities.
And it is never too late to tap them, to work on them and to revive them.
Ive also learned to listen to and recognize me ages not readily discernible.
These days, I may be in for another wake up call because it is midlife for me and adolescence for her. There will be more periods of realization and cro roads ahead for both of us. We will have our own crisis to face and ways to understand and tolerate each other.
But before the next wake up call arrives, I am busy being a mom, a wife, and a Writer at the moment, too occupied to take my daughters intermittent adolescent rejectio seriously.
About The Author
Grace V. Planas, Filipino Chinese living in the Phili ines, is a Homemaker and part time Freelance Writer. Formerly a Contributing Writer of Working Woman Magazine (Phils), most of her works are currently published online. She writes Poetry, ychology/Self Help, informative as well as i irational pieces. Some of her works can be read at TheWritersLife, A olute-DebateDesk, HiddenTalent, The Techmage, Poetrypoem.com, The Ezine Dot Net, LongStoryShort, 1stHolisticLiving.com, Usele knowledge.com and more.
She holds a degree in Accounting, has completed corre ondence courses on Freelance Journalism and Adult ychology. She has two teenage kids, a boy and a girl, and an extremely su ortive hu and.
Shes been writing since she was in grade school and was a Staffer and later Literary Editor for her Schools College paper.
grace21857@netscape.net
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